I have to warn you all, little muffins. I am about to have a serious getoffamylawn moment.
Figure 1: Pretty much like this, minus the droopy bits. Dr. Isis has no droopy bits.
So, on with it. I think the iPhone is ruining my life. As an aside, I would like to apologize for using the phrase "on with it" on this blog. I have been watching a lot of British period dramas lately on Netflix. It started with watching The Tudors and now Netflix keeps recommending these things. Who am I to question them? Over the last several several days I watched Jane Eyre. I realized tonight, as I was speaking Spanish, that I think my Spanish is developing a British accent. If I curtsy to Drs. Buttercup and Triple Threat on Monday, you'll know that it is time to cut me off.
But, back to my iPhone. I think that the iPhone may be ruining society. Or, at least my immediate happiness. Allow me to explain. It seems as though every meeting I attend looks like this:
Figure 2: Except with iPhones instead of Blackberrys. I am told Blackberrys are totally 2008.
No one really pays attention to each other. And, while I realize that this can be a blessing when
some deadwood professor emeritus is droning on and on, it can also be a huge distraction. Normally I have to contend simply with the distraction of the pager service. Even then, though, if someone wants to page you they have to really mean it. Now, every time some n00b gets an email, it is
announced to the table by a few bars of
Regulate. I thought for a bit that people being able to reach my cell would be helpful, but calling turns in to texting and constant access to texting is worse than constant access to email. Lately it seems that, rather than forseeing and organizing meetings in advance, people text me at the last minute. It's not only my coworkers with their noses constantly in their iPhones. My friends are just as bad.
My iPhone has even soured my running. I thought when I got it that being able to use
Pandora while running would be a nice change of pace, so to speak. The trouble is that I can hear every text message, every email, and every missed call. What was once a chance to clear my mind now leaves me guilty for all that I am not tending to.
I realize that this is ironic coming from a woman who has made her pseudonymous fame and fortunes on the internet, but I believe that it might be time for everyone's favorite domestic and laboratory diva to unplug herself from the evil empire.
Figure 3: If I can bear it. Read the comments on this post...
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