One day of good, hard work and my grant-type work is complete. This has been a wild, whirlwind week. Then again, aren't they all? Let's not dwell on what we are all dealing with, shall we? With that, here is a letter from one of you lovely little darlings:
Dearest, Hottest Isis:I most humbly bow before you, and In honor of the upcoming autumn season, I offer up to you these lovely boots:
To me, they have the perfect combination of hard-edged rocker chick chic and sexy, seam-up-the-back-of-the-leg suggestiveness. I hope that is enough to make up for the lack of height in the heel. If not, I know you've been digging platforms this season, so have a look at these cheerful little pretties:
If the offering pleases the Goddess, I would like to ask some advice. I am in a program where students are first admitted to the MA program and then, if they complete the program in a timely manner and produce a good research project, we apply and are usually admitted to the PhD program. So, I've done all of that. But, the second year of the program, I was given a new lab assignment in a field where I had very little knowledge and no prior experience whatsoever, with a PI who bordered on verbally abusive. Out of the students who were assigned to this particular lab, I'm the only one who didn't leave the program and graduate school altogether. I think I've learned a lot and have definitely gained "character" from this experience, but my spirit was so broken that I abandoned my plans to apply to other schools for my PhD, and simply moved up here. I'm beginning the first year of the program this semester.
Now, I've submitted my thesis (done under the direction of a different advisor) and have a paper or two under my belt, have checked over my stats, and am realizing that I am some pretty hot shit. The thought of spending another 3-5 years in this small, blizzard-prone town has got me really down. My relationship with my primary advisor is wonderful (besides the fact that s/he offered me to the new lab and showed very little concern for me, even after it was clear that it was going disastrously). I think s/he is brilliant, but the program is small, there is no one else doing the kind of research I want to do, and I will most likely have to work with the PI from above again if I stay here. On top of that, I'm a 20-something single gal in a town full of 19-year-old frat brahs or grown-up married people with families, and I haven't been on a date in two years.
I'm torn between thinking that I should be able to make my own happiness and opportunities wherever I go, and thinking that dammit, I am young, smart, and ambitious, and the world is my motherfucking oyster and if I'm not happy here I owe it to myself to make some changes. But, if I go, I'm worried that I'll be seen as a flake and my letters of recommendation will suffer. I'm also worried that the schools that I apply to will look at me with a raised eyebrow for leaving my well-respected advisor. Finally, I'm worried that I'll have to justify my decision to the people here, and am reluctant to bring up anything other than scientific reasons for leaving.
So, as a faculty member, what would you advise? I can't say that I've ever known anyone who transferred PhD programs, so I don't know if this is a deal-breaker for a lot of schools or if it's just something that happens from time to time. Is there any way to leave that wouldn't be insulting to my advisor or my department? I know that I have to advocate for myself, but I don't know how to do this without stepping on some toes. Basically, I'm asking for advice on damage control. You and your readers are rich on insight, so I figured it was worth asking.
-Itchy (but adorable! But not as adorable as Isis'!) Feet
I have to confess that, reading Itchy Feet's letter, I have come to the conclusion that she doesn't really need advice from everyone's favorite domestic and laboratory diva. What she needs is for me to tell her that the things she is thinking are right. For all of the reasons that Itchy Feet has outlined, she believes her current situation is not right for her. She has decided that, academically, her environment is not right for her. Personally, her environment is not right for her. Now, how does Itchy Feet extricate herself from her current situation gracefully, without burning the bridges she has currently? I am going to suggest that she not use a white board to go about it.
Figure 1: This hilarious internet hoax cracked me up earlier last week. Who wouldn't want to leave a bad situation like this?
Regardless of the components of Itchy Feet's personal situation, which may have made this decision easier,the fundamental issue at hand is that Itchy Feet is not studying a field that she is interested in. Full stop. Good enough. We all grow and develop interests that may extend from, intersect, or move away from those who have mentored us. If Itchy Feet wants to study something different, then before she worried about letters and burning bridges, and packing boxes, she needs to explore the reality of making that sort of move. For the record, I don't think this move is that outlandish, though. I have peers who were in programs that required completing a masters degree in the program before they could apply to continue as a PhD student. Several of them switched universities at the end of the masters. All is not lost for Itchy Feet.
Still, I would think that, rather than blindly sending applications around to assorted programs, she could send focused emails to faculty who might be doing the type of work she is interested in. Then, when she had established a relationship with a faculty member or two who she was interested in working with, she could begin the process of transferring programs. I think the best way to end up at a place when you think that your application is deficient in some way is to establish relationships with people and then convince them that they want you at your university. Then you can begin the process of news breaking and box packing.
But, that's one major secret to being a domestic and laboratory diva - I have never sent a blind application for any job I've had. Most of the jobs and student positions I have had have come because I came to know someone who created an opportunity for me or advocated for me. I also play my cards very close. I think that one of the most important things you can do is to do all of the fact finding you can before you make any decision. That way you don't get left with a handful of jokers. I think it would be a mistake for Itchy Feet to send blind applications or for her to let the people around her know her intent to leave so early in the game.
Evaluate your options now. Then you can start worrying about not setting fires to bridges. Just don't do anything to the bridge behind you until you have created a new bridge in front of you.
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