At random times, with no apparent reason, my iPhone keeps asking me or telling me, "NOTHING TO UNDO?" Is it a question or is it a directive, some tech nudge from the cyber-Gods?
I keep thinking it should be the title of my never-to-be-written autobiography, so instead I am making it my blog diving board. Today, not yesterday and probably not tomorrow, but today, this moment, I have Nothing to Undo. I have not done something I am regretting or have not put into motion something that will gather steam, like the cartoon snowflake turning into a giant snowball. This place of relative equanimity comes from my idea that inner-direction has shifted to be at least at best equal to my constant outer-directedness. Yes, procrastinators and "I'll do it tomorrow-ites," I am one of those Type A+s who wakes each day with an outer-directed sense of purpose and Just-Do-It-ness that leaves Nike in the dust, and that infuriates some and leaves others standing slack-jawed at my speed, control and efficiency. In doing so I am sure that I am brusque and bold and loud and annoying and charming -- and all of it must seem like a lot to be around, but darn it, I do get it done... but it is all outward, and little thought or inner pulse-taking exists. That is changing, and with that change comes a new sense of purpose and, amazingly, like today, Nothing to Undo.
What is all my DO-ing doing, really? Moving some stuff round, making things a little more efficient. That is all good and valuable in a custodial way, but I hope that by realigning myself, I can start to shift my consciousness to the much bigger issues facing us. How can I link this change with action but link it from within rather than with the big, sweeping moves that I normally do?
I know. These sound like quality problems from an entitled princess, but I do understand the complex problems facing lives all around me and far away. The horrors are too numerous to mention and the illnesses and disasters too readily available on the internet. I am aware of the health care conundrum, the education system Rubik's Cube, choking pollution, wasted natural resources and opportunities, generations caught up in their sick mating rituals of dysfunction and addiction and depression, and the ongoing conflicts ruing this shared globe, but I am merely positing about change and how we can achieve it, mid-stream, mid-life.
I welcome ideas and experiences and will chuckle at those who take this opportunity to remind me, in the comment section, what a privileged life I live that I can take the luxurious time to ask the question. Bring it.
Jump on in, the water is fine, and, so far today, on this glorious Southern California day, it is 85 degrees, breezy -- and yes, I know that the East Coast is under a wall of snow and ice, but that is theirs, and believe me, the ground could start to shake here anytime. But here, on this day, just this day with the sun so bright and this moment of balance and the ability to breathe and look inward, I have Nothing to Undo... do you?
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